Just Be Mad
by ckclueless
Summary: Sometimes you just want to be mad. You just need to be by yourself. He doesn't seem to understand that yes I get mad and leave, but I will always come back.


**AN: **_**I really do not know nowhere this came from, I was just bored one evening and this idea came to me. I have always-kind wonder what happen to Kagome's Dad so I thought to write about it a little. I kind put my of own self in here, and by that I mean that the part about what Kagome's fathers death is really what happen to my father. The memories I give her are mine. Anyway, how you enjoy and review if you like.**_

**Disclaims:** **_I am broke and I own nothing, but my own ideas._**

_"Don't you dare jump in that damn well, Kagome!" InuYasha yelled at me from is face first spot on the ground, but I let it go in one ear and out the other's wouldn't be going back so soon if he had just left me alone, but no he had to keep it up "I mean it, BITCH!". Okay last straw._

_"I will do what ever I please and you can deal with it." I scream has I sit on the edge of the well ready to jump "And SIT BOY!" left my lips when I jump. I hold my breath when I feel myself fall through time. It is a feeling the no matter what, you never really get use to, even over time. It is kind of like one minute the world is around you then next it is gone, then back again. My stomach does not do flip flop like the first few times, but I feel like there is no air for a few seconds._

_When I feel my feet it ground again I let out my breath and stand to get myself together. I start to climb up the ladder, that had been left for me some time ago, when I notice that my back was kind of light. I roll my eyes at myself, I forgot my bag. Not that it matter anyway. I was not going to stay long, just long enough to cool off. I was mad and I just need to go off and be mad by myself. Something InuYash didn't seem to understand, even though he done it himself a number of times. To him it was not okay to refuse to say what's wrong and to go storming off into the wood. Now let me do something like that and it is not okay._

_A sigh left my lips when I walk out in to the light of day and look down at my watch at the time. It was about noon so there was a good chance my family was out and that was okay. I love my family dearly, but they would want to talk. However, I do not want to talk, I just want to be mad for a little while. That is what I wanted to do and that is what I will do. Just as I do not want to stay here so I am heading down the_

_steps to...to...to... well I am not sure where to. I will just see where my feet take me._

_And take me somewhere they did, to the park. I was standing at a small dock on the lake in the middle of the park. This was the place where my Father had brought me before...before he past on. A smile crosses my lips when I slip my shoes off and let my feet hang over the water. It made sense to come here; it was this date 11 years ago when he died. I did not remember much of him from my childhood, but I remember this, his laughter and saying good-bye. It stands out in my mind, the memory of me being carried to his bedside and my mother telling me to say goodbye. At the time I didn't make much of it, it didn't bother me, that my father did not reply to my words. It was okay, to me he was asleep. Momma and I were just going home to take care of my baby brother. I soon would learn that my Daddy was not going to wake up, he was gone and the only reason his heart was beating that day was due to a machine. He was brain dead and there was no chance he would ever breathe on his own again. He was diabetic and had lost his eyesight before my parents met. My mother once told me that when I was born he told her that even without sight he knew I was beautiful. I smile when I remember what else she told me he said, that I had toes long enough to hang from a tree. That was my Daddy._

_Nevertheless, even if their is only a few, I still have other memories of him, other then his death. I remember my 4th birthday, my last birthday he was alive, he bought me a new baby doll. When I opened the gift and removed the doll, I ran to his arms. My father held me and told me that he promise me a new baby so he got me one. To this day, I still have that doll pack away. It was a bath time doll and I told everybody at the party to leave so I could take a bath with my baby. I can also remember him reading to me. I had thought that it was odd when I started school none of my books had 'reading bumps' or at lest that is what I called them at the time, now I know it was called barrel._

_I smile while I wipe tear from my face. I understand now that death is a part of life and you cannot change that. In my travels to the past, I have seen more death then some do in a lifetime. Still I cannot help but be a little mad around this time of year, on this date. It still lurks in my head that it was not fair to me, why my Daddy and not someone else's. I know its a selfish way to think, but why can't I be mad and selfish at lest once a year. I will spend the rest of the year saying he is better off now because he is in no more pain, but for now I want to just be mad at the world._

_That was why I came back here in the first place. InuYasha would not drop it, he just had to know what was wrong. He would not take 'I want to be alone' for an answer from me. I just could not understand him for the life of me. Its was okay for him to be mad and not give a reason, but I could not. He has to know everything. I told him I would be okay in a little while, but that was not acceptable for him. I cannot help but smile, just knowing that he wants to know why I am upset. I know he cares, in his own InuYasha like way. I have learned that InuYasha was the type that if he did not care about you then you could jump off a cliff and he would not notice. He worried about no one, but himself unless he cared about you. Therefore, I know he cares allot about me, or he would not do the things he does. Not that InuYasha has ever came out right and said 'I care', but I learned with him actions speak louder then words. It is how he is and how he will be until he forget the past. I just hope some day he will be able to let the past go, but what room do I have to talk. Look at me sitting here mad about the past I cannot change, just like him. There is a lot I need to let go and allot I need to accept. I guess in some ways the pot had been calling the kettle black, or at lest screaming 'sit' to it._

_I laugh quietly at my last thought and stand to slip my shoes back on. I let my entire revise-thinking run through my head as I start to walk out of the park. My anger is slowly slipping away in the wind that now blew my hair. In the air, I can smell the rain that would come later in the afternoon. I could go back to the past and avoid the rain, but I just wanted to stay home and lay on my bed, listening to the rain. I blush at thought InuYasha might come and lay with me. I could not help but giggle as I made it to the top of the steps._

_"You seem to be in a better mood" I turn to the voice, it was InuYasha sitting under the same tree that he had once 500 years ago been pined to._

_"I am" I walk over and sit beside him. "What are you doing here?"_

_"Waiting for you?"_

_"Why not just wait for me at Keade's. I was coming back"_

_He bows his head "How do I know that. You always take off and never tell me when you're coming back"_

_I smile to myself; my dear InuYasha was scared I might not come back. It was something so silly, but something that made me love him even more. I lean forward to see his face better, but his long silver lock block my view. So I lightly place hands under his chin and tilt his face toward me. In his eyes I find more the just a grumpy half demon with a volcanic temper, but a little boy who was worried of losing someone else in his life. My heart hurts at the sight of his face._

_I bite my lip and try to thank of the right words to chase away his fears "InuYasha, when I said that I would stay by your side I mean it. There is no way I would every change my mind"_

_He just shrugged his shoulders and spoke in whispered voice "Things change and I do really piss you off sometimes when I yell at you," he raise his voice into normal tones "but if you would listen to me sometimes, Kagome I wouldn't yell"_

_I sigh brush my hair out of my face. "Well I will try to listen more, but you have to listen sometimes too" he nods at my word "And like you, there are times that I need to be alone to think" _

_Suddenly I went from being beside my half demon to in his lap. "Promise me you will always come back?" I could not see his face as he spoke. InuYasha had his head laid back against the tree and his eye toward the sky._

_My hands move from my lap to grab his face and gently turn him towards me. "Why are you acting like this? I could understand if we had a big fight and I had been gone for days, but we didn't."_

_His face towards me, but eyes still averted "I know we didn't have a big fight, but what if we do, so promise me."_

_"InuYasha wh..." suddenly my words where cut off_

_"Damn it, Kagome. Just please promise me" his eyes are now on me. Begging me to say what he wants, no maybe its needs to hear._

_I smile "I promise to always come back when I am done being mad, but you have to promise to just let me be mad" I poke him chest to get my point across._

_"Yeah, yeah, promise to let you pout." I roll my eyes "Now lets go home" In the blink of a eye I go from InuYasha lap to being drag across the yard. I would have told him to wait but I enjoy the feeling of his finger laced through mine, so I just let him drag on. The whole time giggling silently to myself while listening to him rabble on and on. "I really wouldn't yell if you would listen, you...hey, are you listening to me?" _

_I grin up at him "Every word"_

_He snorts and mumbles 'whatever' and removes his hands from mine only to place his arm over my shoulder while we walk back._

_Yes, we will go back, he will yell, and I will get mad. I also know there will be times when I yell and he gets mad, but that is okay. That was just how we are, him and me. I do not think I really want it to change, I mean at lest I know we yell because we care. My Mom told me once, her and Daddy had their rounds and she would rearrange the living room on him. Well she rearranges and I yell sit so I guess that is close enough. I smile, yeah close enough...we might not be a married, heck I am not sure what we are, but we sure as hell argue like we are married. And I am okay with that in some ways. Someone once said 'we love and hate change at the same time, when what we really want is for things to stay the same, but get better', yeah that sounds about right. I don't want us to change, but I do want us to get better. I don't want to stop are little fight, just the one were we hurt each other. If I thank about, really we are the closer after a fight because we both feel bad for hurting the other. Well they say making up is the best part._

_I guess to really sum it all up, sometimes I just want to be mad, but no matter what I love him enough to always come back_


End file.
